Having had that drink on the 16th May ended up going on a 10 day non stop drink, pass out, drink, pass out, drinking session. Finally woke up to my senses and decided to detox again. Doctor prescribed me the wrong tablets (which I told him he had as I've done a few detoxes in mi time) needless to say I went in to full withdrawal and ended up being taken to hospital in an ambulance.
Marvellous.
So I detoxed there for 2 days and finished it off at home.
But when you're living in a shared house with 5 people, of which 2 of the others are alcoholics and one of them keeps asking you for a drink.....
Caught me on a bad day 3 days after detox and I gave in. Bring on another week of the usual. Have just completed second detox (this time with the right tablets) in 3 weeks and am currently 6 days clean.
Onwards and upwards as they say!
Saturday, 12 June 2010
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Bad Days
Ended up drinking yesterday, bugger, haven't even got to my age on this blog and have picked up again. Shit.
Thursday, 13 May 2010
All just a bit of fun.
My brother took me out for my 17th birthday, went to my first proper club and smoked my first cigarette.
I'd been to pubs and clubs before with my mates (you know those shit ones they let you in to when you're a teenage kid) this was different. Spliffs going round, an older bunch, better music, brighter lights, more alcohol, more fucked.
This place was where I belonged.
I'd done well at school and was going to college but that had now lost its interest, for the sake of my father I continued to go (by go I mean get the bus to where college was) I'd attend the morning class then as soon as the pubs opened, away I went.
Welcome to cigarettes, alcohol and looking for girls.
I'd been to pubs and clubs before with my mates (you know those shit ones they let you in to when you're a teenage kid) this was different. Spliffs going round, an older bunch, better music, brighter lights, more alcohol, more fucked.
This place was where I belonged.
I'd done well at school and was going to college but that had now lost its interest, for the sake of my father I continued to go (by go I mean get the bus to where college was) I'd attend the morning class then as soon as the pubs opened, away I went.
Welcome to cigarettes, alcohol and looking for girls.
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
How did it start?
Perhaps the first seeds were planted when my gran died, or my brother went away, perhaps it was when my sister left or when my grandad died.
I don't really know, could well have been the fact that my mum was downright neurotic for a hell of a lot of my childhood.
Then my dad went to work in Australia and suddenly I was a teenager.
That's when the abuse started from my mothers "rock" as Princess Diana might say.
I was 15 or 16 we'd all drink, I'd go to bed, my mother would pass out and things would happen.
Of course I couldn't tell anybody because that would break my mother, she hadn't got over her dads death yet, how could I take away her best friend as well. Fair play to him, he mentally tortured me far more successfully than anyone ought to have been able to and that was far more damaging than the physicality of it
What I do know is that I had a strong sense that nobody really gave a shit about me and that anybody that did always left one way or another. And I'd had this feeling for a long time before the bastard happened.
I struggled to make close friends but knew hundreds of people. All of them acquaintances. Don't suppose it matters as much if an acquaintance leaves.
It's probably a combination of the lot that made everything go pearshaped
See you soon.
I don't really know, could well have been the fact that my mum was downright neurotic for a hell of a lot of my childhood.
Then my dad went to work in Australia and suddenly I was a teenager.
That's when the abuse started from my mothers "rock" as Princess Diana might say.
I was 15 or 16 we'd all drink, I'd go to bed, my mother would pass out and things would happen.
Of course I couldn't tell anybody because that would break my mother, she hadn't got over her dads death yet, how could I take away her best friend as well. Fair play to him, he mentally tortured me far more successfully than anyone ought to have been able to and that was far more damaging than the physicality of it
What I do know is that I had a strong sense that nobody really gave a shit about me and that anybody that did always left one way or another. And I'd had this feeling for a long time before the bastard happened.
I struggled to make close friends but knew hundreds of people. All of them acquaintances. Don't suppose it matters as much if an acquaintance leaves.
It's probably a combination of the lot that made everything go pearshaped
See you soon.
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